Depressed Alcoholic Insomniac

In response to:what's it like to be an alcoholic

2008-11-01T18:46:34+01:00

Hey, I just read your blog (or atleast the article so far). I can soooooo relate to what you are going through. Please read my blog at http://alcoholics-life.blogspot.com. We probably have quite a bit in common! Once I get back from running a few errands I will provide a link to your blog. Feel free to email me sometime. Keep up your articulate writing. Gotta go for now. I'll come back and read the rest of your writing when I get back. Good luck to you.

In response to:what's it like to be an alcoholic

2008-10-09T06:45:37+02:00

alcohol consumption varies a great deal from one person to another and the treatment for Alcoholism is just as varied depending on the condition of the user. Perhaps the most challenging part of the treatment for Alcoholism is bringing the user back to a normal and sane state of mind.

__________________
danica

Alcohol Treatment

In response to:Getting help

2008-06-23T08:53:27+02:00

I left a post under another entry before I read this. I'm sorry your doctor wasn't any help.

I can relate to a lot of things you've written here. I've been in counselling for a year now and have been going to AA weekly and to Al-anon (for the families and friends of alcoholics) 3 times a week, and I must have called the samaritans about 300 times in the past year....sometimes up to 4 times a day.

There are reasons why we feel the way we do. Sure, our brains function in a chemical soup and so that can be a factor, but my own experience is that our minds are the key to much of what you're describing. Some of us develop what's called a "False Self" in childhood. Our emptiness, sense of meaninglessness and resulting depression and anxiety and sense of worthlessness and self-hatred (much of which we are unconscious of) flow from the feeling of being "fake"...a feeling that we sense but cannot pin down....Carl Jung writes about the way in which some of us repress our emotions in childhood and teenage years...for a variety of reasons...and how this distorts our sense of who we really are....and if we're not in touch with the real us, how can we have any real desires or dreams or needs....?

Carl Jung, Carl Rogers, Fritz Perls, Art Janov all have things to say on this, as does Winnicott....It's taken me a year to get my clever little head around the fact that I am NOT m y clever little head....my conscious intellect is only a small, relatively ignorant part of me....my Unconscious mind is in control (eg read the scientific research on decision making that shows we make decisions up to ten seconds before we become consciously aware of making the decision....!)....you are not your conscious mind and you might find that exploring this issue helps you find the real you that you abandoned (for very necessary reasons) a long while ago.

Have fun....seriously....have fun...I can't believe the peace joy that this discovery has unlocked for me after what has been a painful few months.

Take care,
Martin

In response to:what's it like to be an alcoholic

2008-06-23T08:37:17+02:00

I don't want to upset you or frighten you, but if you persist in drinking at those levels for a few more years you will inevitably become insane (what's called "wet brain") and end up in psychiatric ward in a diaper, or you'll be dead. Alcohol isn't a solution. In fact, it's probably a major CAUSE of the symptoms you describe. It's certainly possible that you have a pre-existing condition but it's CERTAIN that alcohol is exacerbating it. You're pushing an evil cycle that's just going to wind you up tighter and tighter until you go insane, die or hit a rock bottom that forces you to change. Someone said to me once Alcoholism is a terrible disease. It takes your money, your self-respect, your real friends, your relationships, your job, your peace of mind, your values, your dignity, your house, your kids...and then it stops playing with you and gets serious....As they say at AA, you're in an elevator and its heading one way at speed. You can hang on until you hit the basement floor at 1000 mph or you can get off before it happens. It's a choice.

What makes the choice difficult are all the symptoms of withdrawal, which you describe. Some are psychological - anxiety, dread, paranoia, terror, depression....some are physical. If you're physically dependent on alcohol and try to stop without medical help the withdrawal symptoms can literally kill you. Dead. It ain't a funny addiction.

AA can help, doctors might help, counselling might help. Our minds are funny things....you don't mention having tried any other potential solutions to your issues.....maybe you ought to speak to people who know, or browse some of the websites on this issue.....where you're headed ain't pretty....life will gradually become grayer and grayer....all the colour will leech away, all your joy disappear as the chemical and structural changes prevent your brain from releasing the natural chemicals that bring pleasure to human beings....all drugs deplete our ability to feel pleasure and substitute their own reliable high for real joy....you CAN get it back...so the prize of sobriety is not only health and life...which you ah, oh so slowly, losing....but also the joy that the DEPRESSANT chemical alcohol is robbing you of.

Booze steals your soul, then it kills you.

Choose life. There are solutions.

Good luck.

In response to:what's it like to be an alcoholic

2008-06-09T05:46:57+02:00

Hey.. I want to tell you one thing you must be tired of all other ways but try one thing that is PRAYER POWER. Pray daily. You should have a great desire and get God about it. Read the bible daily. Change you life. This is the only way out. When you come to temptation, kneel down and pray for 5 minutes and feel the difference.
GOD BLESS YOU.
-----------------------
shiju
Alcohol abuse affects millions. This site has a lot of useful information.
http://www.alcoholabusecenter.com

In response to:what's it like to be an alcoholic

2008-02-05T06:34:20+01:00

I can relate to what you're going through. You should most definitely try cannabis as an alternative. And also, beer would help that unsettled stomach. Perhaps even substituting beer for liquor, might cure that.

In response to:what's it like to be an alcoholic

2007-07-22T22:42:26+02:00

Oh...and I forgot to say. There are also brain entrainment cd's/mp3's to help you overcome alcoholism.
cheers! :)

In response to:what's it like to be an alcoholic

2007-07-22T22:41:45+02:00

Have you tried brain entrainment? It really works. I have insomnia too. But the thing with me is, it works well for me and my job. I need to be up nights anyway. But I tried to listen to a brain entrainment "relaxation" cd and it was almost like I drank cough syrup. It will definitely knock you out!

In response to:Surely you can actually sleep when you're tired?

2007-05-02T22:46:49+02:00

Have you tried giving your body a full stretch? That seems to make me yawn and that tricks the body into sleeping...It works with me...Or there's always marijuana...

About the drinking, I used to drink so much until a bad, bad thing happen and I haven't done so much since.

No doubt the alcohol is causing the depression and the insomnia, and the depression is causing you to drink and the insomnia, and the insomnia is causing the drinking and the depression...It's a vicious circle...

In response to:Surely you can actually sleep when you're tired?

2007-05-02T22:45:06+02:00

My youngest child has sleep issues. He has just been identified as having end spectrum autism and they think the sleep issues may be tied to anxiety about things. He's extremely smart and has a mind that is constantly going. While sleeping aids may not be a long term cure, they can help break the cycle initially.

In response to:Discard what doesn't help

2007-04-20T23:19:02+02:00

I did the 'ignore all your friends' thing. Didn't work. Couldn't change locations and jobs as the family would have just followed me so I went the anti-depressant route. Despite the pills, I never managed to haul myself out of the big deep ditch of sadness and the sleepless nights during which I ran through the problems which I had, or could still have in the future. Tried the "count your blessings" thing: that didn't work either. I just decided that I must just be suffering from a bad case of terminal selfishness.
Against my better judgement, saw a counsellor who told me to ditch the tablets immediately. I did and gradually - over many, many months of just talking to someone, with whom I had no personal connection at all, things improved. Maybe this was just perspective which comes with time but Sally's mention of SADs isn't daft. I was always worse during darker months and haven't had a depressive moment since moving to a more sunny clime.

Having said all this if some do-gooding old bat like me had written a comment like this to me at the time I would probably have told them to "sod off", so don't mind me!

I now swing (without the aid of medication or a safety net) in quite the opposite direction of over-excited mania (which sometimes is just as bad ... but at least I can sleep.
Keep on in there!

In response to:Discard what doesn't help

2007-04-20T21:47:59+02:00

Insomnia is a bastard, never had a problem until marital issues about 8 years ago. Still suffer and always linked to periods of stress. I go straight to sleep then wake in the early morning for three or four hours. Tried tablets but found that they just increase the dizzyness that I naturally get if I just get up when I wake and stop trying to sleep. Find after three or four nights of three or four hours sleep max, I finally get a full night...What has changed though, and helps me to cope is that I've accepted this problem and try hard not to dwell on how I may feel the next day if I can't sleep...easier said then done I know. Finally, when going through this, I try and clear a day, turn off phones, take out doorbells, and spend the whole day in bed, reading, dvds and snoozing...really helps me. Fight Club is another insomniac film...though slightly far fetched!!! Good luck.

In response to:Discard what doesn't help

2007-04-20T11:46:31+02:00

Unfortunately, everyone has to find their own path through depression and what works for one may not work for another. Insomnia is a pig because it works with the depression in a vicious cycle. I discovered that part of my problem is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and using a SAD clock to simulate dawn and dusk, with a strict sleep regime, not only wakes me up naturally (when the Hag Phenomenon doesn't wake me first!) but also seems to help me sleep through once I do manage to get off. I use this all year round, not just in the winter. Light therapy treatment also been found to help elderly people with dementia with their sleep patterns and mental confusion. I have heard the worst thing to do if you can't sleep is watch stimulating TV/films. Hot milk has also been proven to have a soporific effect and I have found that a mug of cocoa helps. However, Sweetladyjane is spot on with her suggestion to tackle the biggest mountain first.

In response to:Discard what doesn't help

2007-04-18T21:57:57+02:00

Discarding should only be done after careful assessment as in the case of friends and family. There are people who we view as friends in this life that do nothing more than feed off of us. These are the types to be discarded. Often it is a job, like you said, as well. If the insomina is a huge issue, get some sleep aids from the doctor to help break the cycle. Each problem compounds off the other. If the alcoholism is the central issue then that must be treated first. If sleep is causing the biggest issue then treat that first. Maybe once you are rested a bit you will be better able to indentify the core issue. Now I'm going to go climb up my mountain and wait for more pearls of wisdom to come my way.

In response to:what's it like to be depressed

2007-04-18T11:55:50+02:00

Feeling paralysed is a symptom of depression, as is feeling life has no point. I know because I suffer from depression. But everyone's depression is a combination of different factors. My depression is not caused by chemical imbalance, but by life repeatedly kicking me in the teeth for 28 years or more, culminating in my own "annus horribilis" in 2005/6. The most debilitating factor for me is the feeling of lack of control over destiny. I'm now being treated for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Luckily I avoided the alcohol/drugs trap, but this is the first thing you should address as it is a vicious circle which will make the depression worse. I agree that a good treatment program should get to the root of your problems. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy may help you if, like me, your lack of self-esteem has caused you to lurch from one life disaster to another.

It's a hard road you're on but I know there is light at the end of the tunnel because I have seen other people recover. Take whatever help is offered to you and discard what is not working for you, eventually you will find the right path.

All the best,

Sally

In response to:what's it like to be depressed

2007-04-16T19:00:02+02:00

I agree that getting help for the alcholism is the first step. If you are in a treatment program for that, they will address the depression as well. It took my brother 3 times through treatmetn so don't give up. He has been sober for 30 years now. My daughter has bipolar disorder and it took a few tries to find someone competent to get her on the right meds as well. Don't give up on getting help just because the first guy was an idiot and should have his lisence taken away.
I will send you an invitation to my friends list so we can keep in contact.

In response to:what's it like to be depressed

2007-04-15T23:54:20+02:00

I want to help but am not sure what to say because in a sense life is like travelling through a fog.
I have seen close relations recover from very severe depression [ bipolar diaorder ]. Obviously mecial help is required. Alcohol causes depression so getting help for that would also be a starting point.
Going to say the Salvation Army could help and joining in activities to help others worse than you might put your life in better perspective.
This could be the moment your life changes and I pray that it will be. Start with your GP, then alcoholics annonymous or similar, then an Evangelical Church that regardless of beliefs [ and whether or not you agree with them ] does good for those in need.

David john
Please join my blog.
Do you have a job ?

In response to:what's it like to be an alcoholic

2007-04-15T22:39:13+02:00

I read a book written by Alan Carr on "How to stop smoking" This book is excellent and I stopped smoking.

Then, he must have thought that he'd jump onto the band wagon and write a book about stopping drinking. This was rubbish I know because I bought one.

Switching off is impossible unless you have massive hangover and you then just want to sleep. Then when you feel better you start again.
I think it's a situation of 'Steady the buffs, forward the lancers."

In response to:Why?

2007-04-15T21:26:10+02:00

Hi there

I have suffered from depression and I think that what you are doing is a great idea. I hope it helps you, and others in the same situation. Good luck!